How I Got My Wings, Part 2: Second Encounter
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Read How I Got My Wings, Part 1: Dead Cardinal here.
It was January 22, 2021 and I was walking with a neighbor. We chose a route that took us down Frankfort Avenue. I hadn’t walked that way since November. As we strolled along chatting, we came upon a dead cardinal. Though not in the middle of the sidewalk, it was in dirt to the side of where I had seen the body two months before. On that January day I couldn’t remember exactly when I’d seen the first dead cardinal, but I knew I’d taken a picture. When I found the photo, I discovered that I had taken it almost exactly 2 months before. Two whole months.
When I told my neighbor of the first dead avian encounter, she asked if this was the same bird. I had no idea, but I really hoped so, because if it wasn’t, that meant that more than one cardinal had died in that spot recently.
By the time we went on the walk, I had the awareness that birds were going to be working with me in 2021 (incidentally, I believe my relationship with birds will continue beyond this year). I had bought the feather-pattern leggings to commemorate the connection.
Seeing the cardinal, I knew I couldn’t just leave it there. Like the first time, I had nothing with which to pick it up, but I resolved to go back and get it. Why? I didn’t know, but it felt important. Crucial. That bird was there for me.
As I write that, I am imagining some who may read this and think, “The bird was for you? What? The dead bird? That had been lying there for 2 months? Really? Who are you? Also, that’s gross.”
The same doubts and hesitations reared up in me, too. Thankfully, I have had many experiences of being called to actions that may seem bizarre or unwise by conventional standards that have led me down beautiful paths and unexpected adventures. I knew to trust the quiet voice instead of the screaming ones.
My neighbor and I finished our walk. I went into my home long enough to get my car keys and a dishtowel, and drove back to where the dead cardinal lay.
Ever so gently I picked the body up in the dishtowel and placed it carefully on the passenger car seat. When I picked it up, I saw that the body seemed to be intact except for missing eyes. How was it in such good condition after so long? I had no idea.
I drove home and once there, I had a dilemma. I still had no idea what I was supposed to do with the cardinal body. I think that day I pulled a few tail feathers from it. But then what? I knew I wasn’t supposed to throw the body away. I knew I couldn’t just leave it on my countertop until I knew what to do.
I wrapped the cloth all the way around the body, placed the cloth in a plastic bag, tied that shut, and put it in my freezer.
Though at my core I knew I was doing what I needed to, the inner critic voices were loud. “This is nuts. What in the world are you doing? You just put a dead bird in your freezer. What will other people think? You’re vegetarian, for God’s sake!”
A week later I knew what to do.
Read How I Got My Wings, Part 3: Ceremony here.